The Truth, I Guess...

I've been wondering how I'm gonna make it out of this 

If I'm gonna break, well the truth is 

I don't know anymore

Here's the truth, I guess;

some things don't erase or ever make much sense 

We all have pasts that we speak of in present tense

Bitter tastes from blaming things we can't let go 

It bothers me that my most felt emotions 

are apathy, depression, fear, and doubt 

Lately all my prayers for solution 

have crossed my mind but never quite escaped my mouth 

Why didn't someone say

that none of you had answers at the start of this 

Instead of leading me astray with such self confidence? 

If I'd learned to give up on me like my heroes did

They'd have taught me something worthwhile after all 

I'm ashamed that all my internal discussions 
are of bitterness toward my own friends' success
At their worst the self defeating repercussions
Keep me content to be a failure at my best
It bothers me that my most felt emotions
are apathy, depression, fear, and doubt
Lately all my prayers for solution
have crossed my mind but never quite escaped my mouth

Here's the truth, I guess
some things don't erase or ever make much sense
We all have pasts that we speak of in present tense
Heaven knows I'm trying like hell to let things go