The Haunts of Youth

Shadows Through a Canyon: 

Are you going to miss me when I go?
You can't blame my heart for wondering
Still, years roll on and nothing shows
I guess these scars became a part of me

I want to stay if you want me to
but push me away if you need

Maybe if we fake it through winter
We'll fade out with the flowers of spring
Stretching our love like shadows through a canyon
Until we're blurred and no longer depict reality
Now we're blurred and no longer mean much of anything...

I don't need you coming around
when you need relief from your misery
I'm just a habit for you now
The default choice that's lost sincerity

I would have stayed if you'd asked me to
Now it keeps me awake that you didn't

Maybe if we fake it through winter
We'll fade out with the flowers of spring
Stretching our love like shadows through a canyon
Until we're blurred and no longer depict reality

I can't lie awake all night
I can't lie, you're on my mind
What better peace was left behind?
You can't blame my heart for wondering
You can't blame my heart for wondering...


A Heaviness Not Meant For Me:

I'm tired of change

and tired of waiting for change to come

So I've been praying that my peace won't fall away from me 

I came of age and felt my answers come undone  

And soon erase all of the certainty I once believed 

Let me hold on

Though I've got no way to carry

all the weight that's been placed on 

Let me hold on for one more mile 

For one more mile 

To keep you safe

I took your weight up as my own

For I could carry both our burdens - but it weakened me

I'm not ashamed nor am afraid of all my fears 

But I can't take the blame for half the scars that made you leave 

and let you feel like you were justified in everything; 

for I'd grown broken by a heaviness not meant for me

Let me hold on

Though I've got no strength to carry

all the weight that's been placed on 

Let me hold on for one more mile 

For one more mile 

Maybe Things Will Make Sense When We're Grown: 

I was young and so were you
you felt shy and I did too

When we held hands beneath the swings

You laughed and said you wanted to marry me

We found this bird under the slide;
a missing wing and a missing life

We buried him and wondered
why do helpless creatures have to die sometimes?

Maybe this will make sense when we’re grown
 - I hope so

Children grow up as children do
I grew up too and I married you

We picked the rice out of your hair
that two years later wasn’t there

By hospital beds and in waiting rooms
we'd play cards and I would pray with you

That God would one day grant permission
to move your illness to remission 

Maybe this will make sense when we’re old
- I don't think so

Then you died and I grew old 

I tried to come up with my own routine of living without you

It went fine for a year or two. 

But then I died, for I’d grown old

I was laid beside you, cold by cold and side by side
You and I - just the way we’d been in life for so long

Maybe things all make sense when you’re gone

Maybe nothing ever makes sense at all
Maybe things will make sense when we're grown
Maybe nothing ever makes sense at all
 – I kind of think so

You Had It Made: 

You're sure proud of the way you smile 

Letting no one know that you crawled for miles to fake it 

to temporarily cope

Now you're lying, alone in your party dress 

with your friends all gone like your consciousness and shame 

You're floating farther away 

If you had it made 

Why do you need escape from this? 

If you have it made 

Why do you run away from this?

You learned to burry your conscience in the wishing well 

and never whisper it's name or recall how you felt that day

You swear that you felt nothin'

You put a bag on its head and a pill in your throat 

tied a block 'round it's neck so the corpse wouldn't float away 

You finally feel nothing

If you had it made 

Why do you need escape from this? 

If you have it made 

Why do you run away from this?

You used to smile so much wider than the rest of us 

I guess it turns out the higher hide better than the best of us 

You never learned to get out of your own way

some things don't change 

Some things never change

Now your momma and dad are scraping up their knees  

Praying heaven above will give their baby peace of mind


The Haunts of Youth:

You, your lips like wine and haunting, tender eyes
once made for better days
for me and my fleeting, restless pride
I'd tethered up and tied to keep from blowing away
But then life grew old, and youth was lost forever
It felt stripped and torn away, left along the way
forced to face the change ourselves

I, I will always feel as long as this heart of mine is beating
I, I will always heal as long as this soul of mine is breathing

You, your heart like glass was flawed, yet so beautiful in it's shattering
How it cut to wire my fingertips
when I helped you with finding the scatterings
I'm not prepared to mend or repair or save you - at all
but when a broken thing can hold a broken thing
it makes the broken things feel whole

I, I will always feel as long as this heart of mine is beating
I, I will always heal as long as this soul of mine is breathing

You say you want to start a flame, but your heart is flooded over
and there is no way you're ever going to change enough for this

You, your lips like wine and haunting, tender eyes
once made for better days


Oh, Mississippi: 
(by Laurel Lane)

My love like the Mississippi flows
You're standing on the edge dipping your toes
Sparrows warble songs sublime
announcing a maid in her prime
Who's flutter finning right under your nose

Oh, Mississippi when are you gonna kiss me? 
I've been putting all my eggs in your basket
Time won't stop as we grow old
and you're a man that I've been told
is worthy of spending a lifetime with

Popsicle boats sail as suitors row
I turn down whatever they propose
I am treading water, dear
waiting for you to jump in here
so don't be scared to dirty your dress clothes

Oh, Mississippi when are you gonna kiss me? 
I've been putting all my eggs in your basket
Time won't stop as we grow old
and you're a man that I've been told
is worthy of spending a lifetime with

Other fellas are forming a line
Whiskey water's warm in winter time
It's a lot of fun in here
so whip your flippers into gear
and let me know if you've made up your mind

Oh, Mississippi when are you gonna kiss me? 
I've been putting all my eggs in your basket
Time won't stop as we grow old
and you're a man that I've been told
is worthy of spending a lifetime with

I'm not asking for a cannonball
but a free-fall would be awfully nice
I am wondering if I should swim back
or just dead man's float and hold my knees real tight

Oh, Mississippi when are you gonna kiss me? 
I've been putting all my eggs in your basket
Time won't stop as we grow old
and you're a man that I've been told
is worthy of spending a lifetime with


Spare Me:

Take me away,
I've had enough of all this heartache and waste for a lifetime
I'll call them by name - each demon, out
So I can silence their claims that I'm not mine

Hey, won't you spare me tonight 
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight

Take me away,
I've had enough of all this heartache and waste for a lifetime
I'll call them by name - each demon, out
So I can silence their claims that I'm not mine
Maybe then I can view my faults in a better light
I'll find a way to learn to live with myself so I'm not alone (I'm not alone)
Maybe then I can redefine the confidence I once held as my own

Hey, won't you spare me tonight 
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight
Hey, won't you spare me this pain tonight


They're Gonna Claim They Own You:

Focus not on the darkness, Child
but keep your eyes on the light toward which you're going
keep your strength through the lonesome miles
and your acknowledged fears unspoken

For when you're grown all your walls will come down
and all the places you once hid disappear
When you stumble, the crowds gather 'round
to stone you in the open

When you chase what your heart desires
be aware that the aimless will grow scorned
and find tarnish to cloud your name to keep you at their level

So set your mind on the dreams you hold
and never let their weakness quell your fire
So many let their living end long years before their life does
So many let their living end long years before their life does

I'm no prophet, I've just been there too
I'm a dreamer, Child, like you
They're gonna drag you down
They're gonna claim they own you
They'll dirty up your crown to find a reason to dethrone you
They're gonna drag you down
They're gonna claim they own you
They'll dirty up your crown to find a reason to dethrone you
They're gonna claim they own you
They're gonna claim they own you
They're gonna claim they own you
They're gonna claim they own you...


Goetta Picnic:
(By Laurel Lane)

You bring the blankets, I'll bring the basket
We'll hit the store and pick up some snacks for it
and take them out on the road
You get the peppers, I'll get the goetta
Nothin' like sausage will bring kids together
when they're so far away from home

Don't forget to bring the bottle opener
'Cus wine don't do no good when corks get in the way
I'll drive all night with a screw stuck in my tire
to be with you for just a single day

Oh, we didn't make it in time
Now there's a big, bright, red, no-vacancy sign
flashing S.O.L - guess we're out of luck
Looks like we're spending the night in the back of my pickup truck

Oh, I guess we'll just drive on from this spot
and cruise 'til we find a Walmart parking lot
They may not have internet or cable TV
or free continental breakfast in the lobby
but they're 24 hours and they sure are friendly
When I make my bed with you
Where we make it don't make a difference to me
When I make my bed with you
Where we make it don't make a difference to me

Sausage!



Come to Tennessee

You doubted yourself, I doubted you too
Who would have ever thought you'd find me here
drawing closer to you?
It's undoubtedly true
because here in your room
I'm looking for ways to draw you away
from all of the darkness that you have been going through

Oh, won't you move from Carolina if I asked you to?
Oh, I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you

You were born without love
Your own cord around your throat
Making you feel that trust was weak and merely a promise of hope
that's yet to be broken
You silently spoke
and I saw in your eyes as you realized
I'm not like the others you'd known - who'd cut you to the bone

Oh, won't you move from Carolina if I asked you to?
Oh, I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you

No one's gonna hurt you now
No one's gonna let you down the way they did so many times before

Oh, won't you move from Carolina if I asked you to?
Oh, I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you


Grace:

What if I became that of which you once had warned me
Would I still be worthy of love?
Or would you shun me away when I tried to tell you
the truth of what I really was?

Even if it's all erased, could I e'er forget my ways? 
Are they in my bones? Are they in my veins? 

I once heard of grace ever fully abounding
Grace, where do you now abide?
Have I fallen beyond the realm of understanding
to something unholy?

Even if it's all erased, could I e'er forget my ways? 
Are they in my bones? Are they in my veins? 


'Til We Die or Back Out:

Don't mind me, Mister
I'm just gonna miss her and pray I don't show it at all
You've picked me up just enough to get back to my falling down
Guns and religion, whiskey and women
have nothing in common, they claim
but they draw truth from deceivers, stop leavers,
and give unbelievers a reason for faith

So if you hold the answers, then I'll hold the doubts
and we'll stumble together - 'til we die or back out
Then we'll look back and wonder what drew us apart at the seams
Then I'll keep what's left after you break the best parts of me

I think I'll lay here staring at the ceiling
trying to fight off what feelings may find me
All the half empty closets and boxes tell me that you're moving on
There's a hole in my mirror and blood on my hand
'cus I think that I once saw you out with that man
It hurts me to hurt you
But if you hurt when I do, then you must be dying right now

So if you hold the answers, then I'll hold the doubts
and we'll stumble together - 'til we die or back out
Then we'll look back and wonder what drew us apart at the seams
Then I'll keep what's left after you break the best parts of me

So if you hold the answers, then I'll hold the doubts
and we'll stumble together - 'til we die or back out
Then we'll look back and wonder what drew us apart at the seams
Then I'll keep what's left after you break the best parts of me
I'll keep whats left after you break the best parts of me

Don't mind me, Mister
I'm just gonna miss her and pray I don't show it at all


The Waiting:

Oh, my mother,
I was born only moments before you died and they carried you away
Sent to walk alone - for my father was unknown
upon these streets will I walk and I'll lay

All alone, alone
An orphan on my own
Until the pale moon shines upon my grave

Mother, how I've tried to be your joy and pride
but failures come so naturally to me
In all this sin I find passing before my eyes
I pray, soon one day, I'll be redeemed

Because I'm alone, alone
An orphan on my own
Until the pale moon shines upon my grave
All alone, hollow flesh and bone
The world's a waiting room for judgement day

Oh, I'll see the sunshine some bright morning
So I'll timidly smile, for I know in awhile I'll be free
I'll bloody my feet on this gravel where I walk and sleep until then
Oh Lord, until then
Then my mother, you'll be joined by a broken, wounded boy
When the angels have carried me away


Snowfall: 

Wait for me, I'll be here cold and with my arms around my knees
Trembling, longing for fragments of a fond and former peace
Lately, if you watch me, I can play a part that you'll believe
until you breath easily
I'm not as strong as you perceived me once to be

The snow tonight has covered all your snares
and made it hard to find my way through safely
If I climbed or crawled through your defenses
would you see through my attempts at bravery?
Maybe, if you want me to, I'll fall apart and you'll escape
before you break down with me
I once believed in you as one to set me free

You don't know me, I don't even know myself
You don't know me, I don't even know myself

Wait for me, I'll be here cold and with my arms around my knees
Trembling, longing for fragments of a fond and former peace
Lately, if you watch me, I can play a part that you'll believe
until you breath easily
I'm not as strong as you perceived



Warzone Serenade (bonus track):

The buzzards all came flying in
to feed on what was dying and I found myself the victim of their ways
I guess I'm just the kind of kid
who's had so much given to him
I'd claim I hit a triple
when I was born on third base

Time burns slowly now
in the moments since the pin left the grenade
Still, it all feels calm, somehow
In the middle of a warzone serenade

I woke up in the lion's den
and found I had some lying friends
who swore I wouldn't fall where others fell
The light down at the tunnel's end
has faded out and grown dim
but I've found out that darkness suits me well

Time burns slowly now
in the moments since the pin left the grenade
Still, it all feels calm, somehow
In the middle of a warzone serenade

I guess it just comes down to knowing
when everything decays
It's okay for some things not to be okay
I guess it just comes down to knowing when it all goes up in flames
It's okay for some things not to end okay
It's okay for some things not to end okay