Hatred Ever Pure

I never thought I could wish someone dead or dreamed of taking someone’s life
Thoughts of murder never before filled my head
But now in my mind I see you, shaking, screaming, bloody, dying, crying out for help while in my hands I wield this sharpened knife

Oh my father, I have sinned
For in my mind I’ve killed this man
Forgive this slaughter of vengeance
Committed not by flesh’s mortal hand
Oh mother, what have I done?
I’m not a murdering man
Yet here, envisioned by your son is the lifeless corpse of this hated man

Sometimes I wish you dead, my friend my smoking bullet through your head
Lifeless, empty, bleeding from the wound I created
Sometimes I desire your inert corpse deceased here in my trembling arms
Watching the blood flow from the gaping wound I initiated

Sometimes I see my hands, my dear, wrapped tightly about your neck
All breathe cut off, hearing you choke as you struggle against my wrists
Sometimes my deepest wish is to feel you asphyxiated in my hands, your veins protruding heavily
While I stare into your bleeding eyes and tightly clench my fists and smile

I never desired to kill, to take a life so innocent
I never wished to hate…I can’t hate…could I hate?
Can I hate?...I can…I have…I do…Hate
Father, forgive this hate so pure
Father forgive me, cleanse me
Dear Lord, forgive me