A Once Exquisite Flame

You're back again to collect me; 

my darlings - Misery, dear Agony and sweet Apathy

I'll fetch my bags and you'll escort me 

off to some corner where it all feels far more frightening

But fear is not what frightens me 

half as much as knowing I might fail

I've searched my soul and found that I - I can go on

I can go on no more

I can go on no more

I can go on no more

I can recall when things still mattered

such subtle innocence I long now to recapture

I had a heart then, do you remember?

those childish passions now no more than stagnant embers 

of a once exquisite flame

I'll tell you honestly,

I don't recall if emotion is even something that I want to feel at all

I've searched my soul and found that I - I can go on

I can go on no more

I can go on no more

I can go on no more

Despite my growing faithlessness, I still have faith in saviors.

For I’ve been haunted by these demons 

and these graceless, fallen angels

but there’s an antonym for everything,

so there must be something faithful  

reaching down to drag me out 

while all these terrors fight to claim my longing soul

Oh, how ungrateful I must be for never feeling privileged 

that some hand selected me to be alive 

We're all forgiven, I've been told - if we confess

I must confess that my past is full of blemish 

and my future's full of failure, I'm afraid

Is there anybody there who has ever felt so all-uncertain 

about everything; but by timidly and questioningly searching

found peace and sense among the senselessness of human hurting? 

can you speak to me a word of grace, 

to calm and reassure me that you feel it? 

Can you feel it?

Could I feel it?

I know answers can be found and I've heard mercy never falters

But still, it's hard believing now as Im surrounded by these waters 

that have sought to bring an end

and take my soul as theirs to claim

as I fight hard to find a reason not to surrender to their weight

Can I feel it like you felt; 

the closest thing to an escape you'd ever found

created in me and have every apprehension stripped away?