The Man Who Tests How Thick The Ice Is

It seems that I've spent my whole life leaving things
I guess it's been to make the first move before something left on me
I've thrown stones and I've shot arrows at open doors and family
and burned bridges and killed things before they've grown

It probably came from being scared of something;
and I guess that stemmed from knowing I was wrong
I'm pushing 30 now and still feel like I'm a child
All the while feeling ancient from how tarnished I've become

oh oh oh 
living ain't been bad to me you know
Though times have come down hard and getting by ain't easy 
it's the only way of life I've ever known 

Mom, I know I've never been your perfect child
and I've probably made you cry more often than I've made you smile
with all these years of running making me more feral and far wilder
than a mother'd like to see her grown child be

But it's nothing that you've done that sent me wandering
Know it ain't a lack of love that makes me roam
So please don't ever feel inclined to blame yourself for where I've faltered
I just have this restless side for things that are wild and unknown

oh oh oh 
living ain't been bad to me you know
Though times have come down hard and getting by ain't easy 
it's the only way of life I've ever known 

Is it better to be killed by man or conscience?
Is it easier to fight with hands or doubt?
Sometimes I feel like I'm a father going to test how thick the ice is;
in part to keep safe those who follow me, part the thrill that I might drown

Well this world it ain't too often been a friend to me
so I hope they lay my body down somewhere in Tennessee
Because it’s always made me feel a bit more comforted and free
than anywhere else I've found