problems

Tell me all the fears you own

That you feel when alone 

Heavy in your chest

Pour it out and watch things grow

From a seed in the soul

of where your torments rest

Oh, I've got problems like you

But I can hold yours if you'll carry mine too

Wake me up before you go

I don't know how to say what I feel for you

But nowhere ever felt like home

Until you told me the same;

that you felt lost too

Oh, I've got problems like you

But I can hold yours if you'll carry mine too 

Lullaby

Don't worry tonight, don't lose sleep about it

If it doesn't end fine, you're probably fine without it

The present I'm told will often seem clouded 

Still, it's all gonna be 

it's all gonna be

it's all gonna be over soon

I don't know that I have answers for you, Child
I really don’t know that anyone does

But life's born for wondering and truth can be found 

if you only survive long enough 

Hurt is part of living and doubt is part of trust 

Your questions are answers pre-bloom 

So don't worry tonight, don't lose sleep about it

If it doesn't end fine, you're probably fine without it

The present I'm told is aloof and grey-clouded 

Still, it's all gonna be 

it's all gonna be

it's all gonna be over soon

If it Makes You Better

It’ll take you all night 

but the night won’t last forever

Soon you’ll make it out alive

For we can wether the weather together 

How the wind blows some times 

but you’re not in this endeavor alone 

If it makes you better 

May the worst storms come to you, my friend 

May you fight until you win; but may you suffer

If it makes you better

May the waves that drown the weaker men 

Come and visit you again

In the dark you’re nearly blind

and your war-torn faith is severed 

as the towering seas arise

To beak apart the hopes you tethered

When it feels it’s suicide 

To navigate the howling weather alone

You’re never alone 

If the storms seem too wild 

for your sails all worn and battered 

And the shore line where you hide

Is now lost and the wind has scattered

all the sure things you’d compiled 

In the wreckage, torn and tattered apart

Never lose heart 

Araminta Ross

He tries keeping your mind a wounded thing

For better to bind and clip your wings

You could be tied by many things; but you chose fear

Crippled with doubt and self defeat

Living without identity

You’ve been what he’s allowed, not what you need for years now 

You don’t know

What a force that you could be 

If you just chose...

Maybe if you’re scared of telling the truth here

Then start running somewhere 

Where the truth sets you free 

Darling, if you’re done with being under his thumb

Try being someone who has found release

The blood on your smile fills up your mouth

you stay for the child and tough it out

He’s all that you have worth being proud of these days

You hold on to the memory of a man 

who you know is gone...

Frames

Doing my best to count the deck you're dealing

Held to my chest, for I can’t risk revealing

That my smile hides the petty insecurities

I’m perfectly tongue tied, hoping you’re noticing

Play self assured amidst a world unfeeling

Drifting off course; disaster’s more appealing 

I find that everybody falls apart

when given a moment to truly reveal their heart

I would rather be anywhere with you

It’s coming back; assurance that I’m healing

I’m still intact though half unwrapped and reeling

Time’s got a way of remedying everything

Maybe I’m still the child in the hallway picture frames...

Brace for Impact

Here it is brace for the impact, were all going down

No one quite knows how to react

while watching someone drown without a care

Everything’s weightless when you’re not scared at all

I’m underwater falling slowly

I don’t wanna feel like another body floating

Jamming up the waterwheel

I open my eyes, the room spins

I feel more alive when off the deep end 

This is gonna be

This is gonna be

This is gonna be the last time

I open my heart and no one’s there

I open my arms and no one cares

Feeling things can be avoided

When safely underground

If I’m seemingly annoyed it’s just how I am now

When I was younger

I hoped the world would hold some sense of kinder clarity

So I’ve been going out just hoping I can feel free

The only thing I’ve found is more social anxiety

The pills lift me up when I get down

The millennial way the world goes ‘round

I don’t know if I can keep going on

the same way I’ve done for years and years

I know this is gonna be

This is gonna be the last time

Prone & Free

I know the act 

I can be anything you ask of me to be

A stab in the back, a severer of heartstrings

If that’s what you need to help you relax

I’ve been the one on your end, lord it’s frightening

Feeling attacked by nearly everything

When we were young all this felt so unimportant

But then we grew up, I guess

now...

Its easier to be

Cut off and lonely

Than prone and free

I don’t know what to say 

I’m at a loss for words when talking to myself

About how we change seemingly by instinct

The desperate crawl and scour the planes

Hoping to find someone as wounded as themselves

To conquer and claim or be taken in defeat 

The Closer

The Lord has offered countless hours of grace

And troubled times to serve as counterweights

I tend to struggle with the standard-issue problems

That range from monetary to my physical self confidence

I might be fine, but I’m not okay

I think we need some relief

It’s time to bring in the closer

Someone to fire the heat and get this dragging thing over

while we’re sober

I once believed that broken things reflected life as prisms

But lately I’ve been crumbling in crippling cynicism

I guess that I never grew up, I only grew older

But what I am without feeling?

At its core, it’s the cause for life

Even in regret, I can be resilient

But something’s got to change here

I know everything can change, dear...

El Camino

Let's sit together in the back of an el Camino 

Somewhere in the mountains overlooking all the lights of Reno 

we could talk for hours about what we barely known - I know 

That I don't need nobody else 

Lately you're completing every one of my 

     Sentences. That's cus you're predictable 

That's just your pretentiousness

I can see you looking at me 

      You're so ridiculous 

I've been trying to hide it 

      You ain't too inconspicuous 

Let's keep fighting if it means we keep talkin'

or just sit quiet and maybe start walking 

To some place private were we can hang out all night long

  

Your(re) dead

When I’m dead 

Your flower bed 

Is where I’d like to be planted

So I can make flowers spring each spring and you’ll remember me 

When I’m gone 

Just before dawn 

Bury me in your front lawn

So I can make the wild flowers grow

And you’ll always have to mow 

One spot more often than the rest 

That how you’ll know I loved you best

When I die 

Please don’t cry 

I’ll haunt you as a poltergeist

I’ll break dishes on the stairs

And give your visitors scares 

I’ll braid flowers in your hair 

So when you wake you’ll know that I am still right here

So What?

I should warn you It’s better if I don’t 

try to circumvent the lines and promises I broke 

If it helps you I was hurt more than I showed;

but so what?

I won’t even try

To explain my way around the reasons I’ll deny

If you need to understand how I could lie...I’ll go on 

You will always be 

You alone will be be the wound that I endure through

You will always be 

You alone will be the lesion I adore 

I could earn your trust and barely even try 

Just to harm your heart in places others couldn’t find 

In the vastness near your absent peace of mind

I’ll be there 

Oh, believe me now;

You only want me when you’re drowning

So I’ll hold you down until you need me

Oh, believe me now;

You only want me when you’re drowning 

So I’ll hold you down until you need me 

You will never age for me 

Nor fade or ever die

You alone will e’er remain eternal in my eyes

How the wounded seen a savior un-divine - so what? 

Titusville, 321

To keep myself moving forward I’ve been traveling back

To near where I was born and all my family is trapped 

That’s my height marked on the door

I’ve been taller than that for a quarter century now or so 

Everything seems different but little has ever changed

The faces feel familiar but with different first names 

They must be kids of kids of kids I knew

seven or eighth generation by now I’d suppose 

I guess...

Everyone ages, everyone grows up till they die

We make a few minor arrangements then

everyone goes on with their lives 

Ain’t it funny how we always act surprised?

I heard you bought that little storefront

that you once threw a brick through

back when you still dressed in style

What a perfect little nest for you to pour savings into

Maybe I’ll smash the windows tonight

Instead I changed my mind and sat inside your new delicatessen 

Where I learned of how the protestor had become the protested

By some kids who still dressed in style

And took their anger out in familiar ways

You said that they remind you of you

Even anarchists tire in time, I’m proof

So I walked down the shoreline through the humid air

I’ve learned that everyone is free to confine themselves somewhere

 - including me

I lost myself here once

Maybe I’m still out there aimlessly wandering

Who’s to know?

Not me

To keep myself moving forward 

I’ve been traveling back

To near where I was born and all my family is trapped 

I’ve found: 

Everyone ages, everyone grows up till they die

We make a few minor arrangements

then everyone goes on with their lives 

Ain’t it funny how we always act surprised?

Kingdom of Vipers

So go on, hide in self-claimed righteousness and paint your pious faces

All the while sharpening your claws upon the sacred rock of ages 

But the wealth you gain from selling grace through holy prostitution 

Will not save you for the savior takes no cash for restitution anymore 

Pedaling penance for a salary
and a high rise by The Bowery overlooking all the trade ships coming in

Learning well recited verses used to line your hallowed purses 

How you damn yourselves auctioning redemption 

Turn away, turn away

I’m afraid I never knew you 

I’m ashamed of all that you do in my name

Turn away, turn away 

Don’t you know I see right through you? 

to the core of all of your familiar ways  

Neither for me nor against me 

You’re just trying to convince me that my failure as a man can be ignored 

But that we soiled doves and vagrants will merely dirty up the pavement

if forgiveness here on earth we can’t afford 

All of you salvation vendors know that sinners are big spenders 

When it comes to hiding from eternal flames

Oh, but grace is for the broken, and the hurting, and the hoping 

and you’re causing more to fall than can be saved

Turn away, turn away

I’m afraid I never knew you 

I’m ashamed of all that you do in my name

Turn away, turn away 

Don’t you know I see right through you?
I’m ashamed of all that you do
I’m afraid I never knew you
I’m ashamed of all that you do in my name...

One Cup of Coffee

In a glass, on a barstool, in a town near LA

I found pickup and punch lines that no man should say

but the drinks I'd been having sort of got in my may

besides, you looked perfect and I felt brave

You resembled an angel from a gray movie screen

still, I felt insecure on the floor on one knee

when I begged you the question that made my last lover leave

you said yes, you would marry me

so pour one more round for the boys - tonight we're all dancing

Wrap a bow made of your chains and give me your guard

but keep a cup full of loose change for the day you depart

if you go without warning, leave a forwarding card

and I'll mail back the key to your heart

years passed..

I woke up to find you with a cigarette, a suitcase and the keys to my car

packing my heart in the attic, while the kids waited in the yard

you once called me your anchor

I guess maybe I held you down too hard

so now I'll sink - like the good anchors do

as you sail off in the dark

(chorus)

Go away, bartender

I feel much more safe down here

where everything is blurry, I don't ever have to face what's so clear

I guess the hardest part of living is the hours and days and years

so pour me one cup of coffee before everything disapears

and pour one more round for the boys - tonight we're all drowning

pour one more round for the boys before we all go

I've Got a Sin

I've got a sin, I've got a weight I'm a'carrying
I've got a sin, I've got a weight I'm a'carrying
I'm not too proud to admit I'm dying
I once felt free but now I'm tryin'
to keep these faults and shame I hold from burying me
but I've got a sin and and I've got a way of carrying things

I've got a scar, I've got a cancer in my heart
I've got scars and I've got a cancer in my heart
With so much resting on my doubting being made well or sorted out
I wonder if I overlooked what peace I'd found
While digging new wounds while trying carve some answers out
Now I've got a scar and still have a cancer in my heart

I've got a way, I've got a way of breaking down
I've got a way, I've got a way of faking things now
I blame my lack of understanding
for why I lost my will to stand
and fell for miles to rupture on the stoney ground
I still can't say that I'm a better man right now
I've got stains and I've got a way of breaking down

I've got thoughts, I've got a memory torturing me
I think a lot and I've got a memory torturing me
of when you once swore you were never leaving
as you left me lying in the thorns a'bleeding
where I grew numb and gave up on a lot of things
Now I've got thoughts, I've got a memory torturing me

I’ve got a fire, I’ve got a burning in my soul
I’ve got a fire and I’ve got a burning in my soul
but masterfully self defeating keeps me on the sidelines seeing
those I once inspired move beyond and grow
while I stay planted, rooted in my comfort zone
I’ve got a fire, but burning out is all I’ve known

I've got a lie, I've got a line for covering things
I've got lies, I've got lines for everything
That stem from my fear of connection
and serve as calloused self protection
built to build these walls too thick for shattering
I can't lie, I've got lies for covering things
But Lord I'm trying to keep my mind on recovering

I've got a truth, I've got redemption in my veins
I swear that it’s true, I feel conviction in my ways
When kingdom calls those bound for glory
if I ain't worthy, Lord ignore me
but know I'm trying to mend my torn, abhorrent ways
I've got a truth, I've got redemption in my veins
I've got a truth, I've got it rotting in my veins
but I’ve got a lie and I’ve got a way of covering things
I’ve got a mind and I’ve got a memory torturing me
I've got a sin and I've got a way of carrying things
I’m giving in, I’ve got a way of ruining things

The Light of the Unknown

When I broke myself to pieces trying to mend my broken trust 

I swore I'd never change myself just to be loved

but rather wait for one to love the pieces of the peaceless heart

that I'd neglected and let crumble into dust

Then there was you;

smiling like a light among the wailing storm 

Giving strength, and grace, and comfort I'd not known

Though I felt safer in hiding 

I placed my defenses behind me 

and walked straight into the light of the unknown 

I assumed that peace would find me 

when a last breath was denied me; 

but not here on earth, alive and well with you 

Though I still look like what I've been through

it seems never to effect you seeing me as something better than I do

Who am I; but a man so undeserving of such offered grace?

More inclined to shun redemption than be saved

You said,

"Allow whoever is blameless here to cast their stones at you

You'll find you're safe here, Child - we all have faltered too"

Through a worn, weathered exterior falsely projecting might
You said each crack within the darkness helped reveal the inner light
Everyone who claims their brokenness can be made whole in time
and your present self can be someone you were

Rather than condemn my faithlessness you offered faith in life 

and brought light into the darkness that I'd known

When I should have been damned for faithlessness

you brought my faith to life 

and led me straight into the light of the unknown
You showed grace beyond all kinds I’d ever known
You brought light into the blackness I called home
You led me straight into the light of the unknown

An Owl Among The Cherry Trees

An owl among the cherry trees 
was backlit by such a masterpiece
of burnt orange and amber swirling
shimmering off every dripping leaf
as golden rays fought through the clouds

to pour themselves upon the ground

refracted through the glistening creek

that soon the storm would heighten

Reflections swayed and dissipated

in ripples from the coming rain

casting breathless dancing shadows 

as the churning sky was devoured in grey

A portrait spilled upon the earth in purest form

such boundless worth that went completely unobserved

by eyes transfixed on devices

What a waste

What a waste

I guess true artists still create when no one cares 

Snoqualmie Falls

I had this dream that you ran away with me 

To some place warm, southern and wild

just east of lake ocachobe 

we sat all night, together silently 

and watched restless waves stretch from the ocean

to beat the shore mercilessly

Yet subtly it seemed somehow so serene 

It's fascinating discovering imagined things previously left unexplored 

But back on earth I'm in your bedroom

and it’s just the way you left it 

when you left, assuming you'd come back again...

So don't wake me up 

In my head we're in Snoqualmie  

Trapped in a rare late winter snowfall the road is all but vanishing

We drive all night

You’re laying in my back seat 

Your restless hair pressed to the window

our dog sleeping at your feet 

It seems so real

It seems free 

And for awhile it seems to stretch on endlessly 

But your funeral is this weekend

and I'm weakened by the fact we’ll both be there;

One voluntarily and one the headline act 

In my dream it’s all a nightmare and you come walking back in 

and kiss my cheek

and call me stupid for thinking this ever happened...

So don’t wake me up

Please don’t wake me up 

Maybe I’m Alright...

It washes over me 

in an overwhelming need to cling to all the flaws we are 

Would it do me well

to deny my own uncertainties for a temperate heart?

or maybe I’m alright...

When it all comes down,

Is the faith I built my world around my own cross to bear?

Do I question now 

every answer ever offered out of my own childish fear?

Maybe I’m alright

Maybe I’m alright 

Can I be free again - if I’ve never been?

Can I find comfort in my faith the way my father did? 

Can I believe again - if I never did?

Can I find confidence in grace despite my faithlessness?

There was a moment once when it all made sense 

I felt that everything was pure and I was innocent 

I’m scared of speaking this, but I’m not convinced

That it was faith and not simply the trust of youthfulness 

As it wraps me in its arms I float away 

For a moment held in time, I find a calm and sacred place

and as it covers me in light I feel ashamed 

That I was ever prone to doubting all the promises you’d made 

or Maybe I’m alright

Maybe I’m alright 

Maybe I’m alright

Maybe I’m alright...

Horribly Lonesome

It’s true, I used to feel it pure to play the broken 

Such a slave to the artist in me 

Bleeding from the heart made me seem open

in some self-righteous display of defeat

But I see it now,
the way it fell out as self-deprecating; my subconscious release 

When I wrote it down, the way it felt drowning and gasping for air being...

Horribly lonesome 

And tired of falling apart at the seams 

Everyone knows some sweet, subtle way of conjuring up their relief 

I’m trying to hold some resemblance to a man unafraid of defeat 

But horribly lonesome is what I’ve become
by always pretending to be

Now I’ve grown
There’s gotta be a way to fake the progress

toward who I was sure I would be  

There’s a noticeable change in age and context,

But failure is still constant in me

I don’t know if there’s a known way to find the value of a man

Who’s never whole, but somehow feels alright?

Rome

Hold me in your arms and then
await the due, untimely end 

when every kingdom built falls to decay  

Nothing is eternal in a world devoid of innocence 

and built upon the sands of mortal men

I’ll be the very last thing you see 

The moment you float away from me 

Forever in a state of release

Baby, am I breaking your heart?

Whether the devil when you close your eyes

Or heaven awaits

or afterlife is utterly a state of deceit 

Baby, am I breaking your heart?

Holy, velvet voices claim a dignity that’s been erased 

The past: a glorious empire declined 

Frailty’s a violent thing that’s viciously devouring 

the smiling, arm-in-arm in blind demise 

Nothing withstands forever / Divided we end together

Someone to Hold or to Be Held By

I see over your walls

You don’t scare me at all 

Though you think you know everything about me

I’m afraid that we’re about to face hard times

It’s part of growing, that’s all

Take my hand it’s tired of trembling 

for someone to hold or to be held by

I’m keeping you closer than I can remember 

holding anyone else in my mind 

When you don’t need me to be everything

Know darling, I can be your anything 

Darlin’, you will always be mine

I’ll carry you down when you float through the memories 

flooded in doubts that should drive me away

You’ll take me for granted but you’ll understand when you’re taller and wiser someday 

I’ve seen all the cracks in the paths that you’ll come to 

I’ve traveled beyond what you presently know

I’ll never mislead you, but sometimes you’ll need to 

Stumble through the thorn on your own 

I feel like there’s gonna be a moment when you fear everything 

That you’ve ever known is your enemy 

but I will never be

You will never be lost 

Of that I feel sure

Shooting at Satellites

Oh darlin of mine would you change your name

Move into a van and go chasing fame

Pour your heart out for hours on a worthless stage 

Oh darlin of mine would you change your name

Darlin of mine would you change your name 

Oh darlin of mine would you ride with me 

In a loop from Tacoma to the 813?

A few cities still pay me to sing off key

And tell stories and lies of how we’re living free  

Darlin of mine would you ride with me

I’m not saying that well last forever

we might not make it through tonight 

I’m just saying if we band together

it’s better than two hearts un-intwined 

Am I shooting at satellites?

Am I shooting at satellites, darling of mine?

Oh darlin of mine would you waste your youth

For the sake of a call to some forgotten truth

Would you sever your ties, and dig up all roots

Oh darlin of mine would you waste your youth 

Darlin of mine, never waste your youth 

But Who Will Save The Savior?

You were a liar and I a poet 

They’ve always seemed the same to me 

Either way we found our own simulated security 

Sometimes I’d stare through the ceiling numbed beyond the will to care 

When everything that’s normal felt too beautiful to bear

Life goes on 

as the heartache turns to healing 

apathy gives birth to feelings it itself can not destroy
but then it’s gone
and we’re fumbling and reeling

Through a fog that’s all concealing 

making life hard to enjoy

It still goes on and on and on and on

When your heart meter formed a long draw
and the nurse’s eyes met mine 

I felt my throat close up and inspiration vanish from my mind 

While walking out I pushed a father from a laughing conga line 

Pink bubble gum cigars announcing his first daughter had long at last arrived 

I made it home through wretched traffic of the coming home parade

Though it took hours. 

The news banners read the war had gone away

I passed a young girl in the stairwell 

tears were running down her face 

They’d said her father was a savior 

I guess no one thinks to save their savior once they’re safe

The Man Who Tests How Thick The Ice Is

It seems that I've spent my whole life leaving things
I guess it's been to make the first move before something left on me
I've thrown stones and I've shot arrows at open doors and family
and burned bridges and killed things before they've grown

It probably came from being scared of something;
and I guess that stemmed from knowing I was wrong
I'm pushing 30 now and still feel like I'm a child
All the while feeling ancient from how tarnished I've become

oh oh oh 
living ain't been bad to me you know
Though times have come down hard and getting by ain't easy 
it's the only way of life I've ever known 

Mom, I know I've never been your perfect child
and I've probably made you cry more often than I've made you smile
with all these years of running making me more feral and far wilder
than a mother'd like to see her grown child be

But it's nothing that you've done that sent me wandering
Know it ain't a lack of love that makes me roam
So please don't ever feel inclined to blame yourself for where I've faltered
I just have this restless side for things that are wild and unknown

oh oh oh 
living ain't been bad to me you know
Though times have come down hard and getting by ain't easy 
it's the only way of life I've ever known 

Is it better to be killed by man or conscience?
Is it easier to fight with hands or doubt?
Sometimes I feel like I'm a father going to test how thick the ice is;
in part to keep safe those who follow me, part the thrill that I might drown

Well this world it ain't too often been a friend to me
so I hope they lay my body down somewhere in Tennessee
Because it’s always made me feel a bit more comforted and free
than anywhere else I've found

Someone as Broken as Me, Just Like You

What if I came into your life and made you feel wanted
would it be alright if I wrapped your hand in mine
and never let go or once left your side?
I know it seems strange coming from me, my Dear
But I don't want to be on my own now

What if you were unstable like me
cautious of closeness and being deceived
Would you still put your faith is us
as something unending and worthy of trust?
I know it seems strange, being asked this from me
But I don't want to be on my own anymore

All of my wasted life I've been waiting for someone as broken as me, just like you
to make me feel open enough to say to,
"I know if seems strange, coming from me, my Dear
but I don't want to be on my own anymore”

Providence, MO

I count my blessings night and morning on a single hand

That lost three fingers chopping timber

when the busted buzzsaw jammed 

So we traveled east to Alabama, for better lives to find 

Toward better homes and better weather

Better unemployment lines 

The Lord blessed us with another boy

attached: a cursed mouth to feed

So little Jack’s been selling bottles 

while Mary Jane plays in the weeds

The frost has come and stayed to conjure 

the crops to dying with the leaves

Now Momma’s sick and baby’s crying 

Eviction man says time to leave again 

So I prayed for gold in Sacramento

but all the gold that I could find 

was the sun reflecting off the bottom

of this empty pan of mine 

They say that gold is just for fools;

but gold will drive a fool insane 

each time you dip your pan

and draw it out as empty as it came 

So I sold my pan and set to gambling 

For luck, I’ve heard, turns on a dime 

I rolled, and won, and filled my hands

then stumbled toward the county line 

He must have seen me throwing sevens 

and snuck up in the dark behind 

He split my skull and took my money

Left me bleeding there to die alone 

Dear Lord, if you recall my baby 

Heaven knows he’ll surely freeze 

Please take him up to over yonder 

If you care a thing for me 

Here I sit and here I ponder 

Laid beneath the dying trees 

My blood has dried me to the gravel 

The earth has wrapped me in her breeze

Still I wait and still I wonder 

Heaven hear my dying plea 

Please take my girl and take my baby 

So they don’t end up like me 

Please take my girl and take my baby

So they don’t end up like me 

Something Vicious

Is it honest of a boy to secretly enjoy

all the subtle things that break the seams 

and threaten to destroy his very way of blameless living?

His own path of guiltless ways? 

Do his questions need forgiving when his innocence decays?  

They said
“Though purity can never be replenished

grace may still be something you can win”

So I'll leave the front light on

and claim it helps you Grace, find your way home;

While kind of wishing somebody else wanders in

Can a lack of faith in man be traced to lack of faith in God?
I hope to God that I'm not faithless;
for without faith we'd all be lost
and forced to rely on the conscience of flawed humanity
Within a baseless state of tarnish that is grounded in nothing

They said though faultlessness cannot be rediscovered

innocence is something you can find again...

So I'll leave the front light on,

to help innocence find its way back home;

While kind of wishing somebody else wanders in

Do do do do da do do da da da...

I'll leave the front light on

and claim it helps you, faith, find your way home

While kind of wishing something vicious wanders in
I’ll leave the front light on 
And claim it helps you find your way back home 
While kind of wishing something vicious wanders in